I needed a place to vent that wasn't Facebook. I just need to get this out of my system. And a birthday reminder reminded me of LJ. Haven't been here in a while. Feel free to tell me if I was a little too... sensitive myself, I dunno. I just feel disrespected.
This is directed at someone, but I'm choosing not to bring it up and turn this into a drama, considering they can be overly sensitive, and this could probably brew up a friend war, and I'm tired of seeing them all over the place, so I'd rather pass. So I guess this is kind of an anon letter?
Aight, to start this little thing off... when I visited, you were quite in a tizz about my boyfriend not talking to you in quite a while... How many times must I explain that not only is he now rather busy with work, I've already explained countless times that he's not personally talking to or hanging out with anyone until he feels enough stability to do so. You recognized this and respected this decision, so I figured you'd be more understanding. The anger was quuuite unnecessary. Besides, I hear it from a lot of people, ones that should more so feel like maybe something's wrong- you've known him just about as long as I have, so you're aware the type of person he is, and he's not for dodging people for nonsense.
But instead of understanding, you started to become hostile at the fact that he "forgot" your birthday (when in reality, he had a closing shift and got home after... umm... yeah, midnight, like I said, and sent birthday wishes once he could- which you rolled your eyes to. Also unnecessary.) -which resulted to you in trying to bash him, which somehow turned into a string of things that were disrespectful towards me. Earlier, I had specifically told you I has having issues with a lacking self esteem, and what do you tell me in order to bash him...? His inability to do things. What does that include? That one time he couldn't quite end it smoothly with an ex and how he ended up making out with her on the couch? Yeah, that was a nice mouthful of sting. I think the face and awkward nod should have sufficed, but then you bring up the creepy stalker ex of his. I had to cut in, because I knew about this already and would have rather not continued it- but I did bring up how the situation could have been curbed if when you contacted me, you spoke clearly and kept it concise- you called me to go pick him up because I lived 15 minutes away- by the time you got that out to me was 40 some odd minutes later when he was already in the train and stuck in that still awkward position. Yeah.
THEN after that, you bring up when you were trying to ask him out. I knew you were going to bring up how you kissed him, so I was going to let it go- but then you unnecessarily bring up how he has nice, soft lips that are nice to kiss. And you said it from your own self enjoyment, not saying it to me in any other sort of way.
Not only do you have a boyfriend who wouldn't appreciate that.
I'm the girlfriend who, not only is in an intimate enough relationship to be aware of how he kisses, does not appreciate that either.
I know there I drew the line there. You said there was word that he liked someone and that might have been the reason why. I know I was feeling a little annoyed at the directions you kept going, so I admitted that the girl was me. Someone who at the time awkwardly told you go ahead and give it a try. You got mad that I did and asked why did I let you go through with it and look stupid.
Because I wasn't sure if people were telling the truth. Truth be told, I had a crush on him too, but I'm not the kind of girl to hoard for myself to selfishly try, and I was unsure. There were also some... complicated things at the time, and I'm a little too... all or nothing with my feelings. But honestly... kissing a guy after they rejected you the day before (or whenever it happened)... is kinda... um. I don't know, but I know I wouldn't do that. Sure, I didn't tell you for 4 years, but why would I casually bring that up anyway?
I thought from there, the conversation would die, seeing as now I'm pretty sure my comfort level and any sort of smile on my face was long gone- but no.
You say that at one point maybe when he and I were already together, he may have been sexually attracted to you for a moment? Um. Yeah, REALLY not happy.
And I'm sure that was evident. But then you said that you miss when he visited alone, with an emphasis on the freakin' word alone. When he visited alone, he was kind of single. And your mom kind of wanted him to date you. Now that we're together, it's kind of inappropriate, y'know. And I know you're kind of a little lacking in the censorship department, and would walk around in a shirt with no bra and rather short shorts and things like that, because you don't quite care. Um. I kind of do. And I'm sure your boyfriend would too.
I know you're a friend and all- but there are these things called boundaries. And you kind of don't have them. You kinda bulldoze 'em to the side.
All in all, there was a lack in respect- or a lack of thought in what you were saying, and I didn't appreciate it. At all. I'm just leaving it at this rant you won't see, but if something like this happens again, I will voice my displeasure. K, thanks.
-A very displeased Sam.
I hope I feel better after this.