Bouncing Off Of Clouds

5:48pm: Meme~
Did this before, but eh, what the heck.

Tell me something. Post it anonymously. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love: anything you want. Something about you, something about me, anything at all.

Be sure to post honestly. Post as many times as you want.

11:29am: 40 hours of being awake~ :O
My AIM doesn't work. *PUNTS* feel free to text it! C:

Lol, anyway! Aside from the fact that I'm still ever so crazy and hungry like nobody's business right now.... Actually, I'm going to make me a sandwich now!

...10 Mins and a sandwich later: Like I was saying, aside from hunger and insanity, I've been so absolutely happy! This is hopefully the last self-discovery post in which I do not continue this back pedaling. Now- onto the point of this entry! Whoop whooooop!

Sometimes it's the little things that open eyes. Nothing eloqent. No fancy phrases. Just a simple sentence. It ended on a supposedly negative note, with a "Yeah so... Sama...I'm sorry."

Nothing about what was said was sad. It made me smile, and be absolutely and truly happy. It brought back what I lost. I found me again (and this time, I got her shackled by the ankles, so she don't escape! ).

All this brooding, complaining, being needlessly aggresive at times, needing something to lean on so often... crying... That isn't me. Not at all. I became cold, distant. Even a lot of the writing I did, the change was ever so evident. And I'm tired of being that way! I love being other people's pillar- warm, tender, supportive (why is it starting to sound like the menu in Micky D's...?)

But in all seriousness, I learned a lot (like don't believe the bastard who's kicking the crap out of you. Great lesson here kiddies! You'll avoid head and body aches! :D *thumbs up* ) all I know is I'm functioning on an hour of sleep and 36 hours on my feet- so I'mmah sleepin before I make no sense soon. <3

I'd like to thank my family for screwing stuff up like my brain and life at one point, my friends for putting up with my personality swap and being there for me and and... Dumpling, for being the cutest dog ever.

Life is too short to make second guesses. Sometimes you have to not always follow what your mind thinks too (hell, if I had followed my mind, I'd be in some serious messes. >_>; )

Oh, and don't settle for less. Cuz that always sucks. :O tho' that isn't something I faced. :3

Ah! I'm not scared of lightning anymore! I deserve a highfive! ...Okay, I broke 40 hours of consciousness- I don't even know what I'm writing. I'm just letting my mind go as it pleases.

I think it's time for me to hit le hay, before I seem anymore nutso xD Night folks! I'mma not read this over so I do not break this brain O' mineee~

2:15am: :D
I think I'm satisfied for life. C: Anything that manages to shoot my mood... Damn. O_o it'd have to be pretty damn depressing.

For the comments I couldn't yet get to in the last entry, thanks you two for the input. Seriously.

I'm not gonna let another bastard touch me again. C:

...I'm hungry D:

2:31am: Meme~
Post a picture in my comments of what you think describes me when you think about what/who I am.

Give no written explanation. Just an image.

Post this in your journal and see what images you get.

10:17pm: So Exhausted.
One hell of a weekend. Not only did I work standing for hours non stop (11-8:30ish) with only a 30 min break once in the day- I went to visit friends at NYAF- definitely worth it. I <3 everrryoneeee. Friday was an amusing day, as definitely was Saturday (Tho' Sat- the time I got out of work was killer... my poor feet were dying. I did better standing than I did in flats in the least. ) But afterwards was definitely fun, though the long day really did show through my speech.

....I swear, Diet-Free Coffee is normal. I can explain.

Saturday night at Asia's was fun. Stayed up too late, had an interesting conversation or two...five. A lot. Hahahaha. Oh Asia. So silly. And Motherly.

Anyway- Today was fun, aside from the fact that I was like... attacked every which way. The really temp Jo went over well with people, but *sigh* a good handful of the people I know don't know how to respect -__- I lost count how many times they groped at my chest and rear. I don't give a crap what I'm wearing, it doesn't give the right to touch. Shit. There were a lot of smacks and wrist twisting today. >/

But towards the end of the day was cool. C: Made a new cool friend too.

Anyway. I'm tired. And kinda hungry. Work at opening I think.... ~_~ If it's not opening time I'm supposed to be in.... shoot me.

Annyway. That's all. :3

6:11pm: What the Bloody Hell Man D:
Why must people pay for the jobs that you could ensure you'd be there for a long time?! Jksuderthfdhgdg Pay would be amazing, and placement is guaranteed once I'm cerified, even if I hop states or countries even ><

But it's so damn expensive D: (duh, considering it's a school...) But nmjsdmhjngfdhwethdght the paaaay ;; and the wooooork ;; the hours toooooo *dies*

Time to look for something not so awesome. Ah well.

1:39am: Writer's Block: Top of the Charts


That would have to be "Siren" by Tori Amos.

....the amount is a bit over the top for the two years I've had the song. >.> I'll just say it's well in the quadruple digits.

In other news, at my uncle's house. It's calm now, but still pretty lively.

...Never mind. More liquor... Dammit... ><+

Looks like sleep will be a dream tonight. ~_~

7:12pm: FREEEEE TIIIIIIIIIX
GUESS WHAT U GUISE! I'M GETTING FREE TICKETS TO NYAF. QUITE POSSIBLY FREE ARTIST ALLY TOO. And that's two free tickets, not one. :D Met someone who's staff and they're hooking me up. Wiiiiin. C:

12:03am: Guess What I Have Now? :D
Today was fun. Fell on my ass too many times to count roller blading (they were skates for little boys- obviously totally different from the ones I use :T ) and failed again on a bike. *sigh* Got a few scrapes, but s'all good~

But the good news is, got myslf a tablet that should work :D it's a wacom tablet, and monday, I'mma have fun giving that a test drive C:

That's it really, thought I should mention that I finally have that working~

Bah... Party by the family in my honor tomorrow. Why me >

4:27pm: Yoinkeded from Okamiholic :O
MEME:

COMMENT, AND I'LL--
1) Respond with something random about you. (On the phone it came out funky, so thought it was just respond with something random >.>;; Lol, m'bad)
2) Tell which song or movie film movie reminds you of them.
3) Pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4) Say something that only makes sense to the two of us.
5) First memory of you.
6) The animal you remind me of.
7) Ask something that I've always wondered about you.
8) Tell my favorite thing about them.
9) Tell my least favorite thing about them.
10) If you play, you MUST post this on yours if you want to. (Some Sama commentary: ...this last one makes NO sense... You MUST post this... if you want to :O ...riiight. )

Post so I can entertain myself! Please? xD Finally fixing up this computer. I'll get to everything on here once I'm able to @_@

12:10am: meme
Post a piccie of whichever anime/manga/tv character(s) I remind you of

7:30pm: Lololol I'm dead.
 My parents haven't seen me since Thursday- and I left perfectly normal. 4 Earrings, black hair. 

 I return with two cartilage piercings like I said I was going to. 

And my hair dyed- blue black so it's not exactly super noticable...

Except for the parts that didn't take it in. :X Now I have streaks of brown and blonde. Oops. I don't think she'll care until the dye starts wearing out and the rest of the brown is noticeable. FFFT. 

OON the bright side- back home, brat free. That means more drawing and show watching. Unless that is, I'm to work faster than I thought. Then I need to figure out how I'm going to do things. 

Rofl, parents are getting here. Good luck, me.

10:13am: Wooooo...
 Brother has been secretly married for almost a year. Mom is still going nuts. Good times... no, not really xD; Sucks that I couldn't know tho. :<

9:25pm: Otakon 2009 Drama
Normally I have such a long fuse. Probably the longest out of everyone. But THIS: http://yumikoryuu.livejournal.com/43751.html Y'wanna keep up with this and try to get people against us? This is public then. Deal.

 Okay, that's it. I'm fucking sick and tired of it. All this shit was said to be stopped yesterday, why the fuck is it still going?

As you know, I was...called out- I don't think that's right. I don't call people out on their bullshit, but now I'm going to have to. Dawn, what the fuck is with this shit still going on?

If your body can't handle this shit- WHY THE FUCK ARE STILL AT IT?

You're saying the other person involved in this is doing this for attention, acting like the victim. Bullshit, you're acting like the victim here. I don't see what the problem is about someone who's having financial issues having their money taken. At least some sympathy instead of making it out to be fucking drama. She TRIED countless time to patch shit up, but guess who was being bull headed one? And that time in the hotel room when you were about to say I was lying? What the FUCK was that? I have a voicemail to prove parts of what you were saying. I heard nice and clearly. So how DARE you say I'm lying right to my face?! I had enough decency to walk out and not get pissed off at that.

And I didn't want to continue anything that was said to you know, PUT THIS SHIT BEHIND ME. I don't fucking appreciate being called a liar after saying what the fuck you told me. If that's the case, perhaps you were lying to me? And of course I wasn't going to continue with this because I wanted to drop this shit, of course you'll call me a two face for not wanting to dwell on this crap.

And all that shit you were saying Mia told you? It made no sense. And I verified that all that was fake. Cosplaying to pair up when I don't even cosplay from the same series almost all of the time? Or if the same series, characters that don't even go together? Give me a fucking break. And it's nice to know the real reason I was in the other room. Nice excuse there, don't you think? Making me fucking paranoid again. Of course I'm one of those people who would be afraid of hurting friends. Of course I'm not a sheep and I'm not gonna buy any random shit anyone spews to me either.

Stop seeking pity for your crap. This was all unnecessary, avoidable drama, so I'd love it if my name never came out of that lying mouth. Everyone who knows me knows I don't ever start shit. I was trying to fix it, since you were being so childish. So it never worked, and I tried to keep my maturity higher than yours to keep people from being pulled into this shit. Looks like it didn't work. Nice job bringing totally innocent friends into this crap. Really nice job.

So, yeah, just forget about me, I'll forget about you, and let this shit drop. Stop getting other people involved in your damn immaturity. Thanks.

-Samantha.

11:26pm: NYC Pride Parade
 SO much fun, that I'm practically passing out, rofl. Did a lot of walking around, then went to the village to meet up with friends and watch the floats/people marching over by there. Lots of cheer and high energy of course, and everyone marching was just so energized. We watched for a while, until we noticed people from around us suddenly walking with the march. We thought a bit, made some space at the railing we were standing by, and hopped that thing.

So! We joined IN the march! :D It was really fun, getting people to hype up and cheer. Got a lot of flattery from quite a number of ladies :P Good times, good times. Watched a lot more of the march after we hit the end and came back around, then went to check the festival. So much fun~ I'm surprised I still have my voice, but I'm so so tired. So worth it tho'. :)

Next year, going to try to sign up for marching so that way I can go from start to finish rather than hopping in at some random point (tho' there was much more walking than I thought it'd be from where we were, rofl. I thought we were by the end- happens that we weren't, hahaha. )

<333 Contemplating on passing out for the night~ Going to go to the pool tomorrow morning. :3

3:32am: CAN'T GET NO SLEEP
It's 3:33AM and I'm unable to sleep.

I'm completely awake and so hyper right now o_O; Even though I did not sit still at all toda--er... yesterday. I thought I'd be wiped out but I feel like a million bucks O__o;;  Finished the remainder of the work 'round here an hour ago (lmao, 2:00am is the perfect time to sort stuff out, right...? ...Right. )

Sketched a few doodles- not sure if stuff looks any better or what, but it certainly doesn't feel like it sucks, like it used to. Small scan soon. Then maybe I'll finish off and put up the stuff I've been meaning to. Started editing Extra Credit for a thrid time. Changing up the art and what not. Looked kinda rushed from the original (Maybe because that was rushed.Oops.)

And lmao, the Avon stuffs from a long while back that my bro said he'd get as a gift - rofl, he sent it now, months  later  ( He was gonna get it October 08....didn't happen xD But he's sending it now since he has to put his stuff in a storage while he's deployed, he figured he might as well send it off now) Don't know if he got the stuff I requested tho. If he did, then I have some stuff to give you, Dar~ (Didn't ask for very much, lol. Besides concealer, lip balm and some body lotion/spray, make up just isn't my thing. I hate it. I only use it to appear older instead of looking 13, lol. /Seecwet tiems. )

I'm going to try and get some sleep. D: Even if I have to beat myself with a blunt object over the head to knock myself out D: D: 

feowfjifojfswojfiso now it's 4:11 ><

Note: I really won't knock myself out. That'd hurt.

2:02pm: Room for One Girl at AnimeNEXT?
 Does anyone know anyone who has room for one girl? She made all these plans and then assumed that I'd magically find her space last minute, so I'm wondering if anyone would have room for her. She wouldn't have much packed, I believe, and she's pretty quiet. She's going into this huge panic because she already had bought her tickets, and it'd be her first time away from home. *sigh* 

10:02am: Really interesting Interview
 I was called back for it really really darn quick (less than 24 hours), and so it's today, scheduled for 7. If it goes well, I'll mention more about- if it doesn't, ah well. 

'Least it'll be amusing~ 

2:53pm: Back to The Drawing Board?
 WELL- friends of mine have been getting accepted left and right into art colleges- and they rave about me not even trying because they think I'm "better than them" (Which I often disagree with, I think everyone's style is different. Okay, I admit, sorta hypocritical because I tend to think I'm awful ...*cough* ANYWAY...)

They tell me that I should be a shoe in (which I tend to disagree with), and I should at least give it a shot. I could dig into my buttloads of art college brochures ( Yeah, it was my passion to get into one all throughout HS, then I quit out of nowhere, then I reconsidered, then quit again... I know I think I suck that badly, but bleeeh >> )

SO! I want to re-try! And seriously this time. I'd love to try FIT but... NYC just isn't my game >___>; So does anyone know any art colleges that are pretty good and not in NYC? I need anything to be out of here. Saving up to move out of here- if I end up going to a college here, that'll be pretty dumb of me. So if anyone knows any... <333333 It'd be lovely to go to a school and actually learn stuff instead of this whole self taught thing. I can only go but so far with that.

:3

10:44am: AnimeNEXT Panel Acceptance- Time and place
And here it is:  

The Yaoi Panel
Day: Friday
Time: 10-11:30PM
Room: Panel 4

FMA
Day: Sunday
Time: 1-2PM
Room: Panel 2

12:11pm: *THROWS SIGHT GAG TABLE*
 /Bleach joke

Anyway, RAWR, I'm so angry that I caught myself being really... superficial. :U I'm rather disappointed in myself and I think I deserve a time out! *goes into time out corner*

*cough* 

Aaaanyway...

It could just be taken as giving a style a try out. That one failed majorly - as it's gotten me into troublesome situations more times than I can count. I'll only go back to dressing that way the days I reallly feel like it instead of EVERY. DAY. Today marking the end of it- I haven't worn pants SINCE WEDNESDAY. ARGHHHHH!!!! (lol, maybe I'll lose my status as the fanservice girl. ) I normally change what I feel like wearing almost everyday :> I don't like sticking with just one, so that's over with! :D

Tho' this small exchange in AIM made me lol lots XD

3:14pm: Fill if you'd like~
In other news- hiatus idea is over. Did what I think I had to and now I feel peachy~ :3 I was too easy to walk on to some people. I want to study to work in a field to help people. I want to be a therapist or teach elemetary school art, or be a guidance councilor or something along those lines. So being able to help people to me is important- and I love when I'm able to. But lately, for the past two months or so- someone has been nagging me about how anything I do would never help people- that he knew well because I never took his feelings into consideration anytime. He kept telling me I'll never amount to anything. So something caught me off guard once, because I thought about what he said and I confided in someone I thought wouldn't really say anything. And I said how stupid it was to feel that way. But how wrong I was. They made me feel worse. Saying that whether I help or if my help worked or not- my own friend's happiness... whether they are or aren't- should not apply nor doesn't matter. That it's basically none of my concern.

If I can't even help a friend, I sure as hell couldn't hope to even go for what I want to. And they know what careers I aim for. So it was a total low blow to me.  

But I'm not going to pay mind to that anymore. I think I let people and their comments get to me a bit too easy. Maybe only because I considered them good friends. I'm too much of a softy. But whichever, I won't let myself be talked down and walked on. I should know there's a difference between kindness and being walked on- but I learned my lesson well in many ways~

But anyway! Dropping that! Like I said, fill in if you'd like C:

1. Name:
2. Birthday:
3. Where do you live:
4: What are you studying/What are you working as:
5. What makes you happy:
6. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
7. What is particularly good/bad about my LJ:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. Favorite place to be:
11. Favorite lyric:
12. Best time of the year:
13. Weirdest food you like:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A song:
4: A band:

FANDOM
1. Favorite Fandom:
2. OTP/OT3:
3. Icon/Fic Journal (so I can join):

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your lj so I can tell you what I think of you.

6:49pm: Meme
 Tell me something. Post it anonymously. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love: anything you want. Something about you, something about me, anything at all.

Be sure to post honestly. Post as many times as you want.

Feel free to go for posting anything, random as hell or not. Amuse me? :3

1:30am: Just Can't Put It Aside
Have been enjoying my weekend. Hung out with and got introduced to Prison Break by animalboything  (Kinda late, considering the finale was given and people were raving and ranting about it, hahaha. Catch up tiems much? Yes, very much so. ) and then went to a friends house to hang out for a bit since it was her birthday. Actually, still here. About to head to sleep, since I'm a bit tired (It's almost 2, should be sleeping anyway :U )

But anyway, something is totally irking me, and now I think about it and I'm pissed. Again. A case of grand hypocrisy and manipulation. Normally, I'm one of the most forgiving people ever and it takes a LOT to push my buttons, but this really had crossed the line. Big time. I'm really damn upset now. 

Otherwise, besides this and the rude people who are a total hassle, life is shiny <3 

I have to get up fairly early and head home to help clean (whatever it is the parents could possibly have messed up), so I think I'm going to end it here and call it a night. Good night everyone. <3

1:08pm: To Do and What Has Been Completed List

I'm icing my wrist- as this overload of drawing had been murdering it ;; So here's what I need to do and what I've done so far (:

-FIRST AND FOREMOST, EAT. I forgot breakfast, oops.
-Get a damn marker so I can finish colouring skin.
-If not- Forgot about skin and just post up the chibis I have- colored clothes but just...paper-white skin. (Edit: REALLY Tempted to do just this. Then maybe update a coloured skin version whenever the heck I get said damned marker. Opinions? )
-Finish working on my mini book gift.  ...Well... sorta done... like 90% complete. Lol, it's killing my hand.
-Do awesome idea that'll make mini book even better :D 
-Finish other mini book gift.
-Continue drafting DGM opposite sex commission. Huge commission is huge. Once draft is finished and buyer is happy, monies is found out and given. Then I finish. 
-Klaud Nine mini comic idea that'll get me bricked. As usual. Had this one in mind for a long while. Now I just have reason to do it. hahahaha.
-Finish up crack ideas. 
-More Klaud Nine.
-Quite possibly more crack.
-Finish the human phoenix drawing a kid messed up by trying to colour the wings ;; /emo
-Finish a shitton of my WIPs that I haven't touched in forever. OOOPS. (barely started on doing that)
-Brush up Extra Credit.
-Gather up all DGM crack and put it to one account.
-Post a fragment of Extra Credit

More may be added, when I figure out what I'm missing in the list. So much to do~